


Bike Race

by WinchesterWarrenSon



Series: Motorbikes and Sailboats [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Bikers, Demon Deals, Domestic Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-15 13:04:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5786251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchesterWarrenSon/pseuds/WinchesterWarrenSon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grunkle Stan's old biker pal/ex-boyfriend, Jimmy Snakes, has come into down. Dipper doesn't like him one bit, especially when he shows evidence of being non-human. When Jimmy starts to prove he's up to no good, will Dipper be able to protect his family?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dipper had an eyebrow rather permanently raised as Grunkle Stan greeted the newcomer, pushing himself off of the couch on the front porch and looking as happy as when the Shack was super busy and people were paying him lots of money.

The man had driven up to the Shack on a motorcycle, and the back of his leather jacket read “Death Snakes” and had a snake skeleton stitched onto the back of it. Pointy metal studs were sticking out of the lapels and shoulder pads. He had a long beard and smelled like cigarettes.

“Jimmy! Long time no see!”

They actually shared a hug, which wasn’t something Dipper had been expecting. He thought tough guys were against hugging in public - or at all, period.

Dipper was still unsure and suspicious of the newcomer, despite Mabel embracing the visitor with an open mind. Part of it was that it just didn’t feel right. But another part was that Stan was … acting different.

It was a little hard for Dipper to pinpoint what it was exactly.

Stan shared stories of the days where he was a part of the “Death Snakes,” and Stan went all out with the food and was showing cooking skills Dipper and Mabel hadn’t even known that he had had. (Even if Jimmy didn’t seem as appreciative of it as the twins did; Stan acted like it was normal, that that was just how Jimmy was and that he was just joking, but it still didn’t sit right with Dipper. The fresh-baked bread was good.) Then at the end of the day, Jimmy was still there, and Stan was shooing the twins upstairs to bed.

As usual, Dipper couldn’t sleep, so eventually, Mabel was sleeping just fine and Dipper kicked the covers off and tiptoed down the stairs.

He could hear Jimmy and Stan in the living room, and he quietly cursed under his breath. At least they weren’t in the kitchen; that would make it impossible to get a midnight snack. He hoped there was some of that bread still left. But sneaking past them if they were right there in the living room was going to be a little challenging.

Dipper pushed against the wall and peeked into the living room, trying to see when would be a good time to sneak over into the kitchen to make sure he wouldn’t be spotted.

Dipper soon forgot about that as he watched Jimmy Snakes’s arm slide its way around Grunkle Stan’s waist and pull him closer to him on the couch.

“I bet you’re wonderin’ why I showed up all of a sudden.”

“Well, the question did occur to me, especially with, ah, how the last time we saw each other went, but hey, I wasn’t gonna bring it up in front of the kids for, ah, obvious reasons.”

Was Grunkle Stan blushing? Just what was going - ?

“I actually need a favor from ya, Stan.”

“What kind of favor?”

Stan‘s face showed a little bit of disappointment.

“Well, y’see, I made this deal with this really powerful guy, and it wasn’t the best deal, and I need help to get out of it.”

“Deal with who?” Stan asked, eyebrows furrowing. “You being here isn’t putting the kids in danger, is it?”

“That’s a bit rich, coming from you.”

“ _Hey_ \- !”

Stan made to stand up, but Jimmy grabbed him tightly and made him sit right back down. Stan didn’t resist, but he didn’t look happy either.

“I mean it, if the kids aren’t safe with you here, I want you out!”

“Just hear me out, and if you really want me gone, I can be gone by tomorrow. Just hear me out, okay? You owe me that much, Stan.”

Dipper’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t care what their history was, he didn’t like the sound of this one bit.

Stan relaxed into the couch, but he crossed his arms.

“What is it?”

Jimmy took a deep breath.

“The guy I made the deal with … he was a bad guy. A real, real bad guy. And … I’ve been having to do some terrible things. But I’ve got a shot getting out of it, and I need your help to do it.”

“All right,” Stan said, looking like his usual grumpy self. “What is it I’ve gotta do?”

“You have to agree to help me.”

“I’m not agreeing to nothing until you tell me what it is I’m gonna be doing.”

“Stan, please -”

“I’m not being unreasonable, Jimmy, just tell me what it is before I agree to it! It’s common courtesy!”

Jimmy Snakes stood up by this point and put his hands onto Stan’s shoulders.

“I can’t tell you until you’ve agreed to help me! Please, sweetheart - for me?”

Dipper didn’t have time to question why Jimmy would be calling Stan sweetheart. Stan looked like he was starting to break a little.

“Jimmy -”

“I know I’ve asked for a lot from you in our time together. And I know I didn’t always deserve it. You’ve always been so good to me, Stan, and here I am, making even more demands. But I really, really need your help this time, kitten baby.”

“Dammit, Jimmy….”

Stan sat there in awkward silence, trying to come to a decision.

Dipper didn’t like the sound of Stan agreeing to do something when this guy hadn’t even said what it was yet. And the stitching on the back of Jimmy’s jacket was starting to … move? Oh no.

“Grunkle Stan?” Dipper said, his voice deciding to crack. He stepped out from his hiding place.

Stan pushed Jimmy away from him, causing the biker to stumble, and quickly stood up.

“Dipper! W-what are you doing up?”

“I couldn’t sleep and thought a snack might help. What’re you doing up? Don’t you have a pre-scheduled tour early tomorrow?”

“Y-yeah, I do, you’re right. Uh, c’mon, let’s get you that snack and back to bed with you.”

Dipper made eye contact with Jimmy as Stan crossed the doorway and into the hallway. As Dipper followed Stan, he brought his hand up to his face, pointed at his own eyes with two of his fingers, then pointed those fingers at Jimmy. He then followed Stan into the kitchen, but he did catch a red glowing from Jimmy’s eyes before the man disappeared from view.

No matter what, Dipper was not going to let Grunkle Stan make that deal. Even if he was Jimmy’s … “sweetheart kitten baby.”

It actually took Dipper a while to realize what the nicknames meant.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this part is directly inspired (and also using some of the wording) from @scribefindegil‘s tags, which can be read here: http://reaganwarren.tumblr.com/post/137582251470/peekabooitsmiko-reaganwarren-an-okay ‘cause I reblogged them because I loved them so. They had captured Dipper and Mabel’s personalities so well in their tags that I genuinely don’t think I can write this part without quoting the phrases while still being in-character for Mabel and Dipper, but those parts are 100% scribefindegil’s words and ideas. My stuff is some of the detail-work and descriptions.

Stan shooed Dipper up the stairs after Dipper had had his fill of left-over baked bread and milk, but Dipper was far from being able to go back to sleep. He grabbed the journal and peeked out down the staircase. He flipped through the journal as he kept an ear out. He could hear Stan trying to get Jimmy to wait for his decision about the deal tomorrow, that Dipper had been right and he really did need to go to sleep.

“I mean, there’s no time limit on this, is there?” Dipper could hear Stan say. He couldn’t really hear what Jimmy Snakes was saying in response, but it seemed that Grunkle Stan was getting his way this time.

Dipper closed the door, then hurried to his bed and turned on the light and flipped through the pages of the journal. Red glowing eyes, moving patchwork, red glowing eyes, moving patchwork….

Dipper barely registered that he was disturbing Mabel, but her moaning as he started to click his thinking pen repeatedly did get his attention.

“Dipper, what on Earth are you doing? Go to bed,” Mabel mumbled, rolling over to give him a rather pathetic glare.

“ _Mabel_ ,” Dipper whispered urgently, getting up and moving to her side of the room. He turned her light on and tried to show her the journal, but Mabel just moaned louder and rolled over. “This isn’t the time for sleep, Grunkle Stan’s in trouble!”

“Wha-?”

“It’s that Jimmy Snakes guy and -”

“Uuuugh, Dipper, c’mon.”

“Really! Mabel, I heard them, Jimmy wants Stan to do something for him that’ll get him out of some kind of deal, and his eyes glowed red, and the snake skeleton on the back of his jacket started moving, and he was buttering Grunkle Stan up with all these _nicknames_ , like _sweetheart_ and _kitten baby_ , for some reason, and he’s up to no good! _Mabel, wake up_!”

It took part of a moment for Mabel to register what Dipper had said, and suddenly she was sitting straight up and looking even more awake than Dipper was.

“Wait, what was that last part?” Mabel asked.

“He’s up to no good!”

“No, before that!”

“He - He called Grunkle Stan cute nicknames? Like, sweetheart and stuff?”

“Oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh, _Dipper_! Do you think they used to be _boyfriends_!?”

Dipper stared at her for a moment.

“What?”

But Mabel was no longer listening. She had gotten up off the bed and ran to the bookshelf, then pulled out her mini-Gravity Falls village and set it up in the middle of the room. Dipper raised an eyebrow, but he walked over to see what she was doing.

“How could I not think that Grunkle Stan might like boys too!? This changes _everything_ , I have to re-do _all_ my matchmaking algorithms! Oooh oooh, I wonder if Grunkle Stan would like the big buff black guy with the tattoos!”

Dipper just stared at her.

“What - ? Mabel, what are you doing!? How can you think of matchmaking at a time like this?”

Mabel gasped all of a sudden, then jumped up and grabbed Dipper’s shoulders, shaking him slightly.

“ _Dipper_ , what if Jimmy’s here so _they can get back together_!?”

“No, he’s not, Mabel - !”

“This could be the matchmaking project I’ve been looking for! Dipper, this is fantastic, and they’d be so cute together! Grunkle Jimmy has a nice ring to it, too!”

“ _No, Mabel_! Haven’t you been listening!? Jimmy’s a _bad guy_! We shouldn’t try to re-create some kind of past relationship that I’m pretty sure you just made up just because you want to match-make somebody! He’s up to something bad, and he wants Grunkle Stan’s help with it - or the something bad is something he’s going to _do_ to Stan!”

“Dipper, not everything has to be a big supernatural mystery. He’s just a guy from Grunkle Stan’s past who happens to be rough around the edges.”

“ _Rough around the edges_? Mabel, he spat on Grunkle Stan today - yesterday, I mean!” It was past midnight by this point, after all.

“You heard Stan, Jimmy didn’t really mean anything by it, it was just a biker thing. And Grunkle Stan has his own throw-up on his shirt, a little spit isn’t gonna hurt that tank top much.”

“Well, I don’t believe it for one minute! Jimmy Snakes has got to go, and if you’re not gonna help me, fine! I’ll do it on my own!”

“Dipper - !”

But Dipper turned away from her and went to his bed and huddled on it, the journal open in front of him as he faced his bedroom wall. The annoying pen clicking started again, but Mabel didn’t say anything about it. Instead, she went back to her matchmaking props. So if Jimmy was Grunkle Stan’s type, then she could cross out Old Man McGucket and Toby Determined….

Dipper tried to figure out what Jimmy Snakes could be. Possessed by a ghost? Maybe…. But what kind of ghost? At least a category 5…. But what if it wasn’t a ghost? What if it was something else? But Dipper just didn’t have enough information on Jimmy to have any idea. Glowing red eyes fit lots of different things, though admittedly most were not some kind of shapeshifter that could take human form. But how could Dipper be sure that they weren’t?

Dipper also couldn’t forget what Mabel had said. She was matchmaking behind him as he sat here, after all. Stan and Jimmy? A couple? Why would Grunkle Stan like a creep like that? Sure, Stan was kind of a gross old man, but that didn’t mean he’d fall for someone like Jimmy Snakes. Even if he liked boys, which Stan had never mentioned before.

But as Dipper failed to get any headway in his research, the thought wrapped itself around his brain until it was occupying his thoughts no matter what he did.

Sleep was very, very far away by this point.

Maybe it was because he was sleep-deprived, but his thoughts were making him sad, and his mouth started to tremble, no matter how hard he pressed them together.

Mabel was starting to feel like going back to sleep when she heard her brother sniffle.

She got up off the floor and went over to Dipper.

“Dipper?”

Dipper sniffed again, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. He then rubbed the back of his hand against his shirt.

“W-what if they were together and Jimmy was a bad boyfriend?” Dipper asked softly. Mabel furrowed her eyebrows.

“Dipper?”

“What if he hurt Grunkle Stan back then and now it’s just more of the same? What if spitting and saying rude things isn’t normal and Grunkle Stan just thinks it is?”

Mabel crawled up onto the bed and looked over his shoulder. She took the journal from Dipper, then dabbed the tear stains on the page before closing it shut.

“Don’t worry, bro-bro. If Jimmy Snakes is bad for Grunkle Stan, I, the Romance Expert, will be able to tell. If he really is bad, I’ll help you get rid of him.”

Mabel pulled up a bed sheet, then wiped up Dipper’s face with it.

“Let’s try to get some sleep before breakfast, and I can make some Mabel Juice in the morning, okay?” she said.

“Okay.”

“Awkward sibling hug?”

Dipper nodded, then pulled her into his arms.

“Pat, pat.” they both said.

Mabel then got off Dipper’s bed and went to her own. She watched to see if Dipper was actually laying down and curled up in a blanket before getting into her own bed and doing the same.

They only got about two hours worth of sleep before they were woken up by their grunkle.


	3. Chapter 3

For a while, it seemed impossible that Dipper would be able to convince Mabel that Jimmy was a bad guy.

While Stan did his tours for the day (and it was an oddly busy day, with the tours back-to-back), Jimmy hung around the house and the shop, attempting to keep himself busy while waiting for Stan to be done for the day.

This meant he got to meet Wendy and Soos.

“Oh my gosh, this is such a cool bike!” Wendy gushed. The teenager practically had hearts for eyes as she fawned over Jimmy’s bike.

“So how do you know Mr. Pines?” Soos asked.

“Stan used to be a part of my biker gang back in the day.”

“That is so cool! I bet you have a lot of cool biker stories about you two!”

“Ha ha, I sure do.”

“Tell us, tell us, tell us!” Wendy chanted.

Dipper glared at them from inside the store while Mabel handled the cash register. He swept angrily, not actually moving from his place at the window where he was keeping an eye on Jimmy.

“Dipper? Diiiiipper. Dipper!”

“What, Mabel?”

“Staring at him isn’t gonna make him do something bad. And a snow globe broke over there.”

Dipper gave Jimmy one last glare before he went to sweep up the snow globe.

By the time that Dipper had the snow globe cleaned up and thrown away and mopped up, Stan had returned from what (hopefully) was the last tour for a while that day.

Stan sighed, pushing his fez further back onto his head.

“Soos, the Cornicorn needs fixing again! Soos?”

Stan saw Mabel at the cash register and could only find Dipper in the rest of the store.

“Mabel, you know you lost your cash register privileges. Where’re Soos and Wendy?”

“Outside ogling Jimmy’s motorcycle,” Dipper said, a bit of attitude in his tone, but Stan either didn’t care or hadn’t noticed.

Stan went outside.

“Soos! Wendy! Get back to work!”

Soos and Wendy came back into the store.

“Sorry, Mr. Pines, I got distracted. Your friend Jimmy has so many cool stories about you two and your biker days!”

“I can’t believe you used to be super cool!”

Stan had a weird look on his face like he was trying to choose between looking flattered and staying firm and strict about them goofing off while on the clock.

“As nice as it is that you’re getting along with my long-time buddy, I’d prefer you do it off the clock. I’m paying you to sell merch and fix broken stuff, not chat up bikers.”

Stan pushed Wendy back behind the cash register, then tugged Mabel out from behind the counter.

“Go help your brother clean the store, sweetie.”

“Yes, Grunkle Stan!”

Mabel grabbed the feather duster and Dipper continued to sweep.

“Soos, fix the Cornicorn.”

“On it, Mr. Pines!”

Soos disappeared into the attractions room.

While there were guests still in the store, it had considerable less volume than before, and it was the first time since that morning over breakfast that Jimmy and Stan had been in a room and Stan hadn’t been overwhelmingly busy.

“You look tired,” Jimmy said.

Dipper’s head immediately snapped over to look at them, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Yeah, a bit. Mostly hungry. Haven’t had my lunch break yet.”

“Then why don’t you take it and let lunch be on me?” Jimmy asked. “Is that diner I saw on my way into town any good?”

“Heh. Yeah, it’s all right. You sure, though?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Stan hesitated for a moment, then asked, “You’re including the kids, right? ‘Cause they’re obviously coming, too.”

There was an odd pause. To Dipper, it was enough to tell him that Jimmy had just been planning on taking Stan and not Dipper and Mabel.

But what Jimmy ultimately said was “Yeah, of course.”

Jimmy assured them they could order whatever they wanted, and Mabel was ecstatic. Stan hesitated (again) but ordered what he wanted. When Dipper heard that both Stan’s and Mabel’s had fries, he said he’d just eat off of their plates.

“Not even a drink?” Stan asked.

“Water’s fine.”

Stan raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t push the subject anymore.

Dipper didn’t want to owe Jimmy anything. He couldn’t help but give suspicious looks at the man, even though he was right across from him and could very easily see the looks he was giving him. Dipper didn’t really care.

“Aw, c’mon, Dipper, when was the last time we got to order whatever we wanted?”

“California.”

“ _Dipper_ -”

“So what’re you getting, _Jimmy_?” Dipper asked.

Jimmy and Stan both raised an eyebrow at Dipper.

“You feeling okay, kid?” Stan asked. He looked at Mabel. “Has he been not sleeping again?”

“Yes.”

“Mabel!”

Lazy Susan then appeared to put an end to their squabbling and take their orders.

Jimmy got a coffee and asked for it extra hot.

Throughout lunch, Jimmy actually seemed to becoming increasingly impatient, but not coming to the point of being rude. Just constant glances at his watch and finger tapping lightly against the no-doubt scalding sides of the coffee mug.

While Dipper was convinced Jimmy was bad and was looking out for any indications that he was absolutely horrid and had to leave immediately, Mabel was not-very subtly trying to get Stan and Jimmy to admit they used to date.

Dipper noticed that Stan started sweating an awful lot when Mabel started doing that. It was the biggest indicator that he was lying when he said he had no idea what Mabel was talking about.

It made Dipper’s stomach twist into knots, and he suddenly lost his appetite.

“So did you two ever share a bike and have to hold onto the back of the other one while you drove into the sunset?”

“You watch too many movies, kid.”

“Mabel, let me out.”

“Huh?”

Dipper moved his arm to hold it against his stomach and pressed the back of his hand to his mouth.

“Bathroom, need bathroom,” he murmured out.

Mabel immediately jumped out of the booth and let Dipper duck out and run to the bathroom.

Dipper didn’t actually vomit when he got to the bathroom, but he still felt like he was going to, and he didn’t leave until he felt like he’d be fine.

After a while, Stan entered the men’s room.

“Dipper, you doing okay?”

Dipper spat into the toilet, just to make it seem like he actually did have a problem.

“I - yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Just - just -”

“The food or your nerves? Or your sister’s romance movie babble?”

Dipper thought about his answer as he dry-heaved. He knew Stan was on the other side of the stall door, and … and he felt that he already knew part of what he and Mabel had thought was true.

“Nerves,” Dipper said. It was technically true, since fries were a safe food for him and hadn’t triggered the nausea. And it wasn’t that Stan and Jimmy were … . It wasn’t knowing that or thinking that that was causing it. It was the uneasiness and anxiety and sadness that came with thinking that Jimmy was bad and that Stan was so close to him and that Jimmy could hurt him. Or had hurt him -

Dipper started dry-heaving all over again, the noises he was making rather disgusting to listen to.

“Let me guess. Jimmy’s stressing you out,” Stan said.

Dipper spat into the toilet one last time, then flushed it. He opened the stall door and peered up at Stan. Stan gave him a comforting smile.

“Hey, it’s understandable. He smells like cigarettes and is rough around the edges, and you don’t know him very well, he showed up suddenly, and you depend on consistency and stuff. I get it. If you want, I can see if Soos or Wendy can have you and Mabel spend the night or something. If it’s Soos, I can let him off work early, even.”

Dipper furrowed his eyebrows.

“But what about you? I mean -” Dipper started, but Stan laughed a bit.

“I know I’m old, Dipper, but I can take care of myself. And Jimmy and I have some catching up to do, anyway. It’ll be good for all of us, I think.” 

“L-let’s see what Mabel thinks, first,” Dipper said, not liking the idea of leaving Stan alone with Jimmy for the night.

Dipper washed his mouth out at the sink to try to get the vague hint of vomit taste in his mouth, then they both went back to the table.

Jimmy paid for their meal, and on the way back Stan proposed the idea to Mabel.

“That sounds great, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel replied.

Dipper moaned a little bit, but Stan must’ve written it off as Dipper’s stomach still not feeling well.

Mabel and Dipper spent the rest of the day at Soos’s. Soos had video games, and Mabel rocked at them, but Dipper was unable to relax. All he could think about was what Jimmy could be doing. He still hadn’t figured out what supernatural thing Jimmy could be, and he didn’t know what Jimmy’s deal was about, and what would happen if tomorrow came and Stan was gone? Missing or worse?

“I can’t do this,” Dipper said eventually. It was 9pm, and the moon was high in the sky. He grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, then dashed for the front door.

“Dude, where’re you going?” Soos asked.

“Dipper!” Mabel cried out.

But Dipper ignored them both and ran back to the Shack. He could hear them hurrying after him, but he didn’t stop or look back. He could feel the journal beating against his chest in the inside vest pocket it was sitting in. (He had installed the pocket himself. Made the vest rather heavy, but whatever.)

There wasn’t anything in the journal that could help him until he knew what Jimmy was, but Dipper still held it in high regard and thought it was his best bet against Jimmy.

The Shack was within sight now, and Dipper ran for the door. He stopped just short of the door and tried to control his own breathing. 

He could just barely hear Stan’s voice over his deep breaths.

“All right, all right. I’ll help you. Tomorrow after work. Will that be okay?”

No! Dipper was too late! No no no no no no no no!

Dipper banged on the door, his heart beating too fast.

Dipper couldn’t hear what was going on over the beating of his fist on the door, but Mabel and Soos were catching up. From the window, Mabel could see what looked like Jimmy leaning in to kiss Stan, and Mabel was about to let out a squeal until she saw it interrupted by Dipper’s door-banging.

“ _Dipper_!”

“D-Dudes, wait up!” Soos panted. “W-what’s going on?”

Mabel reached the porch before Soos did, but before she could scold Dipper, the door flew open.

Dipper’s eyes widened. The glee that Mabel had experienced from seeing the almost kiss through the window disappeared as though blown out like a candle. Her mouth fell open, and both twins stared at Stan with concern.

Soos was somewhere behind them, panting and doubled over, too out of breath to be paying attention to what was happening and too far back.

Stan took a moment too long to realize what they were staring at, and he tried to cover up his black eye with his hand. 

“What’re you two doing here? Did something happen? Where’s Soos?” Stan asked. 

“O-over here!” Soos called from across the yard, still trying to gather his bearings. Soos could easily do the walk from home to the Shack, but running was an entirely different matter. Soos picked himself up off the grass and lumbered over to the porch.

By the time Soos got there, Stan had managed to find his eye patch without having to leave the door frame and placed it over his black eye.

“Soos, kids, what in the heck is going on?” Stan asked, avoiding making eye contact with Dipper and Mabel.

“I dunno, Mr. Pines! Mabel and I were playing video games and trying to get Dipper to join in one minute, and the next he’s grabbed his things and taken off!”

“Kid, have you had any sleep since yesterday or the day before?” Stan asked.

“N-no - ” Dipper started, but then Stan put his hands on their shoulders - his and Mabel’s - then pushed them towards Soos.

“He’s sleep-deprived, possibly imagining things ‘cause he’s so tired. Give ‘em both hot milk and put them to bed, okay, Soos? I’ll drive you back to your house if you need me to.”

“But - ” Mabel started, but didn’t finish.

Dipper, on the other hand, started to panic.

“No, GRUNKLE STAN!”

He reached out and tried to reach out to Grunkle Stan, tried to force his way back into the Shack. He wasn’t going to let Stan be alone with Jimmy, not now, not after seeing the evidence of what that _jerk_ had done - !

But in the end, he was just a twelve-year-old with noodle arms who wasn’t as good at boxing as his sister was. He was just a twelve-year-old who had only managed to get a look at Jimmy and his red, glowing eyes before Stan shut the door behind him. He was just a child who hadn’t gotten enough sleep and didn’t have the energy to keep fighting, no matter how afraid he was.

In the end, he was just a little kid staring up at Soos’s ceiling, laying on his back in a sleeping bag.

Jimmy had to go.

But how?


	4. Chapter 4

Dipper only got a few hours of sleep. He hadn’t been able to dream. But he was the first one awake and ate several slices of white bread for breakfast and made sure everything was packed - including Mabel’s stuff - all in time for Soos to head back to the Shack for work.

He and Mabel didn’t really talk that morning, but as they sat in the back of Soos’s car, Mabel turned her head towards him.

“Dipper, what’re we gonna do?”

“I’ve got an idea,” Dipper said. He had thought of it as he had tried to go to sleep. He didn’t let himself stop to analyze it too much. They didn’t have time for that, and it was all he had.

“What is it?” Mabel said.

“I’ll explain when we’re out of the car,” Dipper said.

Soos parked in the Mystery Shack parking area, then the three of them got out of the car, Dipper carrying his bag and Mabel carrying her own.

The twins immediately went into the house, hoping Grunkle Stan was in there and not in the back room of the store.

The living room smelled too strongly of cigarettes, and it made Dipper nauseous. Mabel made a face as she smelled it as well.

“Even Grunkle Stan has the decency to smoke outside like a normal person,” Mabel mumbled after looking around to check that Jimmy wasn’t in hearing range.

Dipper grabbed Mabel’s bag, then took both bags up to their room in the attic. After depositing them on the floor, he hurried back down the stairs and braved the rest of the house, pinching his nose to prevent smelling more of the awful smoke smell.

“Grunkle Stan?” Dipper called, his voice sounding nasally.

Dipper and Mabel looked in the kitchen, but they only found Jimmy there. Drinking the milk straight out of the carton.

Dipper narrowed his eyes at Jimmy. He felt Mabel move behind him, holding onto the back of his vest. She was afraid of Jimmy now. Dipper gritted his teeth.

No one hurt his family, and no one scared his sister. Ever.

Jimmy turned his head to look over at them. He closed the fridge door and leaned against the refrigerator.

“Stan’s out with an early tour,” Jimmy said, continuing to drink the milk.

“Good. We have to talk,” Dipper said.

“Dipper!” Mabel whispered, voice trembling, but Dipper stood his ground.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, we do, do we?”

“I don’t know what you want Grunkle Stan’s help with, but I don’t like it, and I want you gone,” Dipper said.

Jimmy snorted. “Well, it’s not like a kid like you has a say in the matter.”

Dipper gritted his teeth.

“What are you?”

“… Pardon?”

“What are you!? A ghost, a monster? Why do your eyes glow red!?”

Jimmy stood there for a moment, then he chuckled darkly and lifted his hand to his sunglasses. He took them off, showing both Dipper and Mabel his eyes.

Mabel gasped as she saw the red, glowing orbs with little yellow dots for the pupil.

“You know what’s behind these and you still think you can make me leave?” Jimmy said.

“Yeah! Things like you always have a weakness!” Dipper said. “And even if I don’t know what it is, I can still make a deal with you!”

Jimmy raised an eyebrow.

“What kind of deal, little man?”

Jimmy set the milk carton down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“We have a race. If I win, you leave Grunkle Stan alone forever and get the heck out of Gravity Falls!”

Dipper could feel Mabel tugging at his vest.

“Dipper, what’re you doing!?” Mabel asked.

Jimmy laughed at that, then leaned in closer to the twins.

“All right. But if I win, you have to do me a favor,” Jimmy said. “No questions asked.”

“Dipper, no, don’t - !”

“Deal.”

Jimmy held his hand out, and Dipper shook it. Jimmy tightened his grip on Dipper’s hand, and Dipper hissed as he felt something burning into his palm.

Dipper took his hand back and looked at his palm. The image of a snake head glared up at him. He looked back up at Jimmy, and the man was smirking at him.

“I’ll get the track ready. See you in town at 1pm, sharp.”

Jimmy then left the kitchen and went out through the front door.

Mabel grabbed Dipper’s shoulders and turned him around.

“That was your big plan!? You can’t race him! You can’t even ride a motorbike!”

“It can’t be that different from a bicycle. But we should get a bike, I don’t think he’s gonna supply one.”

Suddenly, the mark on Dipper’s palm started to burn again, causing Dipper to cry out. Fire jumped from the mark and flew into the air, then swirled in the air beside them. It swirled and swirled into the shape of a motorcycle, then died down, revealing an actual motorcycle. Perfect Dipper-size.

Dipper and Mabel stared at the bike, then stared at each other.

“H-how did that happen?” Mabel asked.

Dipper immediately pulled the journal out of his vest pocket and flipped through it.

“Oh. Oh no. Oh no no no no _no_ …!”

“What? What is it!?” Mabel asked.

Dipper turned the journal around so she could see the picture.

“He’s an occupation demon, Mabel! ‘Someone who made a deal with the Devil in order to become invincible in their chosen profession! Grants immortality and invulnerability in exchange for committing horrific acts, such as murder and stealing souls!’ Mabel, what if he’s been after Grunkle Stan’s soul this whole time!?”

“Dipper, what if you just agreed to give him yours if you lose!?” Mabel said, her voice getting higher-pitched.

“If he wanted my soul, why would he give me demonic biker powers?” Dipper asked, pointing at the admittedly cool-looking bike.

“Maybe it wasn’t on purpose….” Mabel said.

Dipper doubted it. He looked at the bike, then hesitantly reached out to touch it.

“I’m … I’m gonna test-drive it. We have four hours until we have to be in town,” Dipper said.

Dipper walked the bike out of the house and located a safe-ish place to drive it around.

The moment he got onto the bike, he fell right over.

No, this was not just like riding a bicycle. This had been a terrible idea.

But he didn’t give up. He had to learn how to drive this thing in four hours time.

Meanwhile, Mabel went into the store and waited for Grunkle Stan to be finished with the morning tour.

“Grunkle Stan!” Mabel said when she saw him come through the door.

“Hey, sweetie,” Stan said, his eye patch over the eye that Jimmy had punched, hiding the black eye. “How’d you sleep at Soos’s?”

“Not very well. Grunkle Stan, can I talk to you in private?” Mabel said, giving him puppy dog eyes.

“Uh, well….”

“ _Please_?”

Stan sighed. “All right.”

The two of them went into Stan’s office. Stan leaned against his desk.

“What did you want to talk about?” Stan said, a defeated look on his face.

“Grunkle Stan … why did Jimmy hit you?”

Stan pressed his lips into a thin line.

“This isn’t an appropriate conversation for a kid,” Stan said.

“Grunkle Stan, he hit you! And he calls you sweetheart and kitten, Dipper said so! That’d make him your boyfriend, wouldn’t it!? And he hit you!”

Mabel started to tear up.

“I don’t understand! I don’t understand at all, boyfriends are supposed to love you!”

“Oh, sweetie. C’mere.”

Stan knelt down, and Mabel ran into his arms, and he held her. Stan hugged her tightly, and she hugged him back with all the strength her little twelve-year-old body had.

“Dipper and I love you and don’t want to see you get hurt….”

Mabel could hear Stan swallow hard.

“I know you don’t, Mabel. I know…. I’m sorry you had to find out about that.”

“I’m sorry it happened at all!”

“Things with Jimmy are … complicated. Always have been.”

“If he loved you, he wouldn’t hit you.”

Stan didn’t say anything to that. Mabel wanted him to say something - anything - but he didn’t.

In Stan’s brain, it was a whirl of thoughts and memories and echoes of voices. Disagreements with Mabel’s statement.

But there was absolutely no part of him that wanted to teach her any different.

He never wanted her to feel like bruises and blood meant love. He didn’t want her to feel like this. Like he did. He didn’t want either twin to feel like this.

“Where’s your brother?” Stan asked after a while of just holding her close.

“… He really doesn’t like Jimmy.”

“Mabel, that doesn’t answer my question.”

“… Dipper says Jimmy is an occupation demon and challenged him to a bike race so he can’t steal your soul.” 

“What? What’d’ya mean he ‘challenged Jimmy to a bike race’!?”

“He and Jimmy are gonna meet up in town at 1pm and race. If Dipper wins, he has to leave us alone and get out of Gravity Falls, but if Jimmy wins, Dipper has to do him a favor.”

“What the he- hot Belgian Waffles! JIMMY!”

Stan let go of Mabel and got back to his feet, then started searching for Jimmy.

“JIMMY! DIPPER! _JIMMY_!”

Soos and Wendy jumped, startled.

“Mr. Pines?” they both asked.

“If you see Jimmy or Dipper, make them wait here and call for me!” Stan said, hurrying out of the store to head into the house.

Neither were there.

He had an two and a half hours to find them and put an end to this nonsense before someone got hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

It was 1 o’clock. Dipper drove the motorbike into town, looking around at the place.

Jimmy … Jimmy really changed the look of the streets.

As Dipper arrived to the meeting spot, he saw Jimmy already sitting atop his bike at the starting line. The roads were empty aside from him and Jimmy, and the sidewalks were full of the townsfolk. He even saw Gideon and his parents on one corner of the sidewalk. Manly Dan and the policemen were on the other sidewalk, and Tyler Cutebiker and Toby Determined were also there, as well as Robbie, Tambry, Thompson, Lee, Nate, and Lazy Susan.

Dipper swallowed hard. Was this really happening in front of the entire town?

“We’ll make this easy on you, little man,” Jimmy said, jabbing his finger at the road. “One lap, starting line is the finish line. We follow the road out of town, then drive around the perimeter once, then we come right back down this road. Whoever crosses the line first wins.”

“How did you get this set up so fast?” Dipper asked, rolling up to the starting line.

“Bikers are always ready for a race, and this town’s got a biker bar.”

“Oh yeah.” Dipper remembered going in there to question Manly Dan about the murder of Wax Stan. He wasn’t sure that explained everything, but whatever.

“On your mark!” Officer Blubs shouted, holding up his gun into the air.

Dipper tightened his grip on the handle bars. He had practiced non-stop, and he had gathered a few scrapes and bruises from constant falling over. But he felt like he had a good enough grasp on it now. He had to. He couldn’t lose to Jimmy, couldn’t let Stan get hurt again. And he didn’t want to know what Jimmy had planned for him if he lost.

“Get set!”

Jimmy shot him a nasty smirk, then said, “By the way, nice outfit.”

Dipper blushed a little bit. He was still wearing his blue vest, red shirt, and gray shorts and blue baseball cap.

“Go!”

Officer Blubs shot the gun into the air, and Jimmy and Dipper took off.

Dipper hissed a bit as his palm burned, but he didn’t bother to look at it as the flames spread from his hand to all over his body. Somehow, it didn’t quite hurt, but the sudden burst of heat was a bit distracting. Dipper kept his eye on the prize, though, and kept after Jimmy.

As the flames died down, Dipper had an all-new outfit - leather jacket, appropriate pants for motorcycle-riding, ratty T-shirt with the collar and sleeves cut off underneath the jacket, and some stylish, bad-boy boots and gloves.

His hat flew off his head and ended up falling at the Gleeful family’s feet as the flames came up and around his head, giving him a helmet.

On the back of the jacket, there was stitching of the Big Dipper constellation.

Jimmy was just a bit ahead of him, but Dipper knew he had to slow down or he was going to wipe out on the very first turn. He just had to make sure he didn’t get too far behind and then was able to cross the finish line. That’s all he had to do. He could do this.

Meanwhile, Stan and Mabel, with Soos and Wendy not too far behind, just came onto the scene as Dipper and Jimmy went round the bend and out of sight.

“Oh, hey, Mabel!” Gideon said, but Mabel didn’t pay him any mind.

“DIPPER!”

Stan burst out of the crowd and ran onto the street, panting.

“JIMMY, YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

Mabel covered her ears, but it didn’t help much.

“Mr. Pines, what’s going on?” Wendy asked. “Why was Dipper on a motorcycle?”

“Well, they’re racing, obviously,” said Bud.

“Dipper made a deal with Jimmy, and if Dipper wins, Jimmy has to leave, but if Jimmy wins, Dipper has to do something for him!” Mabel said, turning to Wendy and Soos.

“Wait, what?” Wendy said, raising an eyebrow. “What does Dipper have to do?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t say! And he said we weren’t allowed to ask questions about it!”

Wendy frowned.

“That sounds super shady.”

Mabel looked down and saw Dipper’s hat, then picked it up.

Stan moved back onto the sidewalk, expression panicked.

“Mabel, has Dipper ever ridden, like, a dirt bike or anything like that before?” Stan asked, a pleading tone to his voice.

“No! He only started learning how to ride that thing four hours ago!”

Stan pressed his palm to his forehead, pushing his fez back. His fingers took hold of his hair underneath the hat. The movement made the fez catch on the elastic string keeping the eye-patch in place. While the eye patch stayed on his face, it displaced it.

“Mr. Pines?” Soos said, seeing the discoloration just underneath Stan’s eyebrow.

“There isn’t a way to stop this now, they’re already out there, and there’s no telling whether Dipper will wipe out and get hurt or where that would be, and if he gets hurt, it’s all my fault - !” Stan rambled, trying to think of a way to fix it, to make it stop, but he couldn’t, there wasn’t anything he could do. He no longer had a bike of his own, hadn’t ridden one in so long he wasn’t sure he could do it anymore, and with his cataracts it just wasn’t a good idea, and who would take care of Mabel if both he and Dipper were hurt in biking accidents?

“Mr. Pines, what happened to your eye?” Soos said again.

“Huh?” Wendy said, looking up from Mabel and at Stan.

Stan hesitated, then he sighed and pulled the eye patch off.

Wendy and Soos gasped. Mabel winced.

“It looks worse than last night, Grunkle Stan…!”

“I’m okay, sweetie. It doesn’t hurt,” Stan lied. 

“Did - did Jimmy do that!?” Wendy said, a flash of her father’s temper flaring in her eyes. She balled her hands into fists.

“Is that why Dipper made that deal and is doing this race?” Soos asked, emotionally torn. He wanted to be angry, too, but he was remembering how he hadn’t even second-guessed Jimmy’s presence in the Shack and - and Mabel said ‘worse than last night’, which meant the kids had seen it but he hadn’t, he hadn’t noticed his favorite person in the world was in trouble and hadn’t helped.

“I - ” Stan started.

“Yes,” Mabel said, her shoulders sagging.

Stan stopped, then sighed. “Yeah. Yeah it is.”

The Gleefuls were just pretending this conversation just plain wasn’t happening right next to them and would not be acknowledging it or discussing it period from this point on.

Meanwhile, Dipper was discovering that Jimmy was a cheater.

Demonic biker powers meant fiery whips that could rip up the terrain and the road and put obstacles in Dipper’s path.

Dipper had to dodge or make an obstacle a benefit to his progress with each problem Jimmy threw at his way.

Gritting his teeth, he thought to himself that he wished he could do the same to Jimmy. He waited a moment to see if the magic fire would pay out.

No such luck. Perhaps it was for the best, though. He had no idea how to drive this thing one-handed.

Driving the perimeter of Gravity falls took about an hour.

As they made the turn to go back into town, Jimmy did one last crack on the ground and Dipper couldn’t predict was it was going to do - put rocks in his way? another cow to dodge? - but then the ground actually opened up, and Dipper saw fire and flame and smoke billow out of the hole in the ground as it got bigger and bigger.

Dipper didn’t know what to do, but soon he fell into the hole.

Screaming, Dipper fell into the depths of the pit. He could hear Jimmy laughing as he made his way back into Gravity Falls.

Eventually, Dipper lannded on a strip of land. He kept driving forward, but he was whipping his head back and forth, taking in the scenery.

Was … was this Hell!? Was Hell really real!? How well would that go over with Jewish day school? Because this didn’t look like Gehinnom and he had always gotten the feeling that Gehinnom was more like the Catholic Purgatory. This did not look like Purgatory in the slightest. Oh no, was he going to meet the Devil!? He didn’t want to meet the Devil!

“Hey, kid. What’re you doing here using my brand of magic?”

Dipper screamed and swerved rather violently.

“Whoa, easy there.”

Dipper turned his head and looked at the skeleton that was talking to him. The skeleton had horns sticking out of its forehead.

“I - I - I - I - I - I - !”

“A kid like you shouldn’t be having demonic powers. Where’d you get them?”

“J-J-J-J-Jimmy Snakes, we had a deal, and I have to beat him or he’s gonna hurt my uncle, and I have to get back to the surface or he’s gonna win for sure! I can’t let him hurt Grunkle Stan!”

The skeleton nodded sagely, as though he was thinking deeply.

“All right.”

The skeleton, which had been hovering alongside Dipper as he drove, clapped his hands, and suddenly the ground under Dipper rose up, the dirt ceiling above them disintegrating to allow them to rise. The road was now a ramp, going up, up, up…!

On the surface, the crowd saw Jimmy coming closer and closer, but no sign of Dipper.

“I don’t see him!” Mabel said, holding binoculars to her face.

Jimmy laughed to himself, thinking he had this in the bag.

Then the ground started to rumble.

“Huh?” Jimmy said.

The road burst open, and through the fire and smoke came Dipper, yelling as the bike flew up out of the crater and he landed back on the ground - in front of Jimmy - and sped for the finish line.

“TAKE THAT, YOU CHEATING JERK!” Dipper screamed, not daring to look back at Jimmy.

The finish line was right there, right there!

Dipper crossed the finish line, and he threw his hands up into the air.

“YES!” Dipper shouted. 

He shouldn’t have let go of the handlebars.

The bike hit a hole in the ground that Dipper and Jimmy had easily avoided before. Dipper - and the bike - ended up taking flight once more, Dipper slipping off of the bike and landing on the ground first.

The bike prompty landed right on top of Dipper’s legs, making him scream out in pain.

“DIPPER!” Stan and Mabel shouted, running over to him. Soos and Wendy followed, and Stan, Soos, and Wendy pulled the bike off of Dipper.

Dipper gasped in pain, but he forced himself to get to his feet.

“Ow, ow, ow - Mabel! Stan! I won! I actually won!”

Stan’s eyes had zeroed in on the fact that Dipper was now refusing to put weight on his left leg.

Jimmy crossed the finish line and came to a stop. He was snarling, but he put his bike into park, and he strode over to Dipper, Mabel, and Stan.

Wendy and Soos provided a protective barrier between Jimmy and the Pines’ family, but Dipper limped just enough around Soos.

“According to our deal, you have to get the heck out of here and never bother Grunkle Stan again! Also, I think a certain someone wants to talk to you,” Dipper said.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, then turned his head. His face paled as he saw the horned skeleton. Only the Pines family, Jimmy, Soos, and Wendy could see that he was a talking, walking skeleton with horns thanks to the robes and hood he was wearing.

“Really, Jimmy? You tried to make your retirement happen by switching places with a _twelve-year-old_? We’re demonic beings, our lifestyles are not child-appropriate, and I will not stand for this blatant abuse of power and manipulation of a non-corrupted heart. He raced you to save the life of another, for Devil’s sake!”

“But Mephisto-!”

“Nah ah ah! I said if you could find a replacement in a week’s time, then I’d let you retire, and you knew full well it had to be an adult capable of proper consent! Do you have any idea the amount of trouble the whole demon department would be in otherwise!? Your week’s up, back to work, mister.”

“And it can’t be in Gravity Falls! That was part of the deal!” Dipper said.

Mephistopheles nodded. “Yes, yes. I will also be taking your powers from you, young man, but you can keep the clothes.”

Dipper held out his palm, and Mephistopheles took it into his own and shook it. Dipper winced a little, but then Mephistopheles took his hand back and Dipper saw that the burn of the snake head was gone.

“Au Revoir,” Mephistopheles said, grabbing Jimmy by the arm and pulling him back to his motorcycle.

“Hey - !” Jimmy protested, but Mephistopheles ignored him.

Stan watched Jimmy get pulled away by the walking skeleton, and he made to run after him, hand balled into a fist and clearly about to lay down the law. But Soos and Wendy grabbed onto Stan, holding him back.

“Whoa, Grunkle Stan!”

Mabel and Dipper moved to be in front of Stan.

“It’s okay now! He’s leaving!”

“Jimmy, you asshole! I was going to help you! You didn’t have to involve the kids, so why did you, you giant prick!? ANSWER ME!”

But Jimmy didn’t answer. He just got onto his bike and drove back out of Gravity Falls.

Dipper and Mabel watched as Stan’s body trembled slightly before them.

“Grunkle Stan?”

Stan turned back towards the kids, his eyes going to Dipper’s leg again.

“Dipper, let’s get you to a doctor, okay?”

“I’m okay, Grunkle Stan.”

“No. No you’re not. Your leg might be broken, and look at your face. Your chin’s busted. You’re going to the doctor.”

Stan picked Dipper up carefully, and Dipper had to admit that Stan might be right about his leg as it pained him no matter how he moved it.

Dipper didn’t understand. He thought Stan would be happy Jimmy was gone. But if it was possible, Stan looked more upset than he had when the twins had discovered that Jimmy had hit him.


	6. Epilogue

Dipper’s leg was wrapped up in a cast, and he had to walk around with a crutch. The doctor said it would take six weeks for his leg to heal up. He was annoyed that it was going to get in the way of his adventuring, but there was no way getting around it. It did mean he didn’t have to sweep up the Shack, though, and he didn’t have to embarrass himself by dressing up as an attraction. So at least there was that.

Grunkle Stan, Wendy, and Soos had work, but Mabel stayed by Dipper’s side, watching TV with him and doing crafts while he read. And every now and then, Stan, Wendy or Soos would check up on them, see if they needed anything.

Dipper’s chin had a giant bandage, and now that he was wearing his usual clothes, it showed that he had scraped up his elbows and forearms rather badly. Bandages covered the wounds, but Dipper could feel the wounds oozing and being gross in general.

Sometimes Dipper would catch Mabel looking over at him with a sad look on her face. Dipper would pretend he hadn’t seen it and would crack a joke or poke fun at something on TV or in his book, trying to get her to smile. For Mabel, it worked really well.

But when the Shack was closed for the day and Grunkle Stan, Soos, and Wendy came back into the house, Dipper didn’t know what to do.

Wendy managed to keep a pretty good smile on her face.

“So I hope it’s okay with you guys, I was planning on spending the night here with you two.

“R-really!?” Dipper and Mabel said together.

“Yeah, and Soos, too,” Wendy said.

“Yay!”

Mabel tackled both Wendy and Soos, one at a time, and Dipper punched the air, only to make a little “ow” sound.

“We can use the break room!” Mabel said, referring to the room that used to have the body-switching carpet.

“Yeah!” Soos said, trying to keep his smile on, but Dipper could tell it was hard for him.

Stan wasn’t even bothering.

Both Stan and Dipper were quiet as Soos, Wendy, and Mabel discussed what dinner should be and what they should do for Sleepover Night.

“How ‘bout us girls go get the pizza and let the boys set the table?” Wendy said. “I bet you’re tired of being cooped up all day.”

“Ah, I didn’t mind! Dipper and I played video games!” Mabel said, but she certainly wasn’t opposed to going for a drive with Wendy to get pizza.

“See you guys in an hour or two!” Wendy said.

Mabel gave Stan a hug and Dipper a kiss on the cheek before running after Wendy.

“Soos, can you take care of the table?” Stan said, first thing he had said since coming back from the shop.

“Sure, Mr. Pines,” Soos said, and he ducked into the kitchen area.

Stan sat atop the dinosaur skull beside the big chair. Dipper looked up at Stan, and they sat awkwardly next to each other. There was room on the chair for Stan, but Dipper felt like the man was afraid of hurting Dipper further somehow.

“How is it?” Stan asked.

Dipper shrugged.

“Still broken. The scrapes ooze and stuff, but I think they’re looking better.”

“Not infected?”

“Don’t think so.”

They sat in silence for a bit longer.

“Dipper, why did you do it?”

“Do what?’

“Challenge Jimmy. He’s older, bigger, stronger, more experienced at biking. What could have possibly made you think you could take him?”

Dipper frowned a bit.

“I couldn’t do nothing, Grunkle Stan. Even if I didn’t think I could actually do it. He was a demon-possessed jerk.”

“Kid, you’ve gotta stop mistaking funny costumes meant to scare people at face-value. Jimmy was not some kind of demon. He was just a guy.”

Dipper’s frown deepened.

“A guy who punched you in the face.”

Dipper was willing to let Stan disbelieve in the supernatural, just this one time. If it made it easier for him. But he wasn’t going to drop the conversation.

Stan didn’t look at Dipper.

“You can’t just get involved in other people’s business like that, Dipper. You got hurt real bad, and I don’t want that happening again. Especially not over me.”

“But Grunkle Stan - !”

Dipper looked up at Stan and really, really got a good look at Stan’s face. His protest died in his throat.

“Grunkle Stan … why wouldn’t I want to protect you? I love you, and so does Mabel. We’d both do anything to help you.”

“That’s the thing, Dipper. That’s supposed to be my job. I’m supposed to protect you kids, not the other way around.”

Dipper didn’t know what to say. He wanted things to be okay now. Things were supposed to be okay now that Jimmy wasn’t here.

But it was like he was still hovering over their shoulders, in the shadows and the walls and the static of the TV, and Dipper hated it.

“Grunkle Stan, was Jimmy really your ex-boyfriend?” Dipper asked.

Stan tensed a little bit, and Dipper felt like he was already given his answer.

“No,” Stan lied, and Dipper knew it was a lie. “Just an old biker buddy.”

Dipper shifted a bit in the chair, trying to get more comfortable.

“It - it’s okay if you like guys, Grunkle Stan. It’s not as big a taboo it used to be. Like, dudes kiss on Mom’s TV shows and stuff, and Dad has gay coworkers.”

“I’m not gay, and I don’t want to have this conversation, Dipper,” Stan said firmly.

Dipper closed his mouth, unsure on where to go from here.

“And don’t … don’t go around telling people that I am, okay?” Stan said. “And tell Mabel that, all right?”

“Sure,” Dipper said quietly.

Dipper noticed Soos was standing awkwardly in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen, and he wondered just how long Soos had been standing there. Dipper was pretty sure Stan had noticed Soos, too, but none of them were willing to break the silence that had cropped up again. Soos for some reason didn’t even look like he wanted to cross the threshold into the living room.

Before either Stan or Dipper could break the silence, Soos did.

“I’m sorry!”

Both Stan and Dipper looked over at Soos, a little confused by the outburst. The 22-year-old looked like he was going to start crying.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice you guys were in trouble! I’m sorry I didn’t help, I - I’m so sorry - !”

“Darn it, Soos,” Stan said, getting up and moving toward him. Stan put a hand on Soos’s shoulder. “I didn’t want any of you to know. That isn’t something you have to apologize for, I didn’t _want_ you to know and hid it on purpose. The kids only found out because I’m terrible. It’s not your fault, okay?”

Soos stepped into the living room and hugged Stan tightly. Stan let out a bit of a grunt as Soos squeezed him tightly, but he didn’t protest. Dipper watched as Soos sobbed into Stan’s shoulder, blubbering more apologies. Stan repeatedly said Soos’s name to try to get Soos to snap out of it, but it didn’t do much.

“You’re my favorite person in the world, and I didn’t help - !”

Stan’s shoulders sagged, and Dipper felt his heart break inside.

“Soos, you did help. You helped me get to the hospital, and you protected Stan from getting hurt more at the bike race. Remember?” Dipper said. “You and Wendy both did.”

Soos sniffed and gave Stan one last squeeze before letting go. Stan stepped a bit back, giving the handyman a sad look.

“Th-that’s true,” Soos said.

“And you’re spending the night to make sure we’re all okay, aren’t you?” Dipper said.

“Y-yeah.”

“Soos, that’s great and really thoughtful of you. You have not failed. You’ve really stepped up to the plate, hasn’t he, Grunkle Stan?”

“Yeah. You have,” Stan said. His tone didn’t show that he was really in the spirit of the statement, but Soos accepted it and seemed to feel a little better. And Stan smiled a little as Soos cheered up some, and that made Dipper smile a bit.

Soos said something about needing to call his abuela, so he ducked into the other room to use the phone. Stan went back to sit on the dinosaur skull. He sighed heavily, and Dipper’s smile faltered a little.

“I know saying it won’t really fix anything, but please don’t feel bad about how this turned out. Sure, I’m roughed up and have a broken leg, but if it means Jimmy’s gone for good, I don’t care that much. All I care about is that we’re all safe as a family,” Dipper said.

Stan looked at Dipper, frowning.

“Look, I won’t stop you from going to such lengths to protect Mabel. You should come to an adult first, but if you have absolutely no other choice, then I’m not gonna stop you looking after Mabel. But if it’s a choice between my safety and yours, always pick your own. Understand?”

“But Stan - !”

“I’m not arguing with you on this, Dipper.”

Dipper felt anger bubbling in his stomach.

“Grunkle Stan, you deserve to be safe too!”

Dipper almost regretted saying it as Stan’s face changed. Dipper couldn’t describe the expression very well, but he clearly had struck a nerve. Whether it was good or bad, he wasn’t sure. It was almost like Stan was panicked. Not angry, but in pain.

“Grunkle Stan?”

Stan got up abruptly and quickly disappeared into another area of the house.

“Stan - !”

Dipper struggled for a bit, but he grabbed his crutch and forced himself to his feet. He tried to figure out where Stan had gone, but in the end it just wasn’t worth the effort it would take to find him. Sighing, he headed for the kitchen table and waited for the girls to return.

When they did, the pizza had extra pepperoni on it, and Dipper picked the pepperoni and ate them one at a time as Mabel talked about how Wendy was telling her about the various different ways to break a man’s hand if he’s touching you in a way you don’t like and how Wendy was willing to show both of them how to do it. Soos and Wendy handled drink refills, and eventually Stan returned from wherever he had gone. He acted like nothing had happened.

He was able to fake smiles better. He was able to actually laugh again.

Dipper ate his pepperoni quietly, feeling uncomfortable by the knowledge that he couldn’t protect his family from the little whispers in their heads that told them they weren’t good enough.


End file.
